i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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