Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Boobs speak an international language.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
