that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize