even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize