I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
