I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
jump out the window naked night went bad
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
