I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
