I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
