susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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