i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
