How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
