Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I want to be your penis for a week.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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