I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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