WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
