she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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