In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
