I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
