I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
