Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I cockslap morals
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
