she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
