Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
