Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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