Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
