you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize