? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
