She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
