I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
