My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
