I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
