Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
