You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
