He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
