Nicole vs. Life
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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