she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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