Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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