omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
