my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
