im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
