apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
