he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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