he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
