Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
