The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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