I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
