Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We are all done wearing pants today
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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