I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
