guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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