There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize