About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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