I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize