just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
