Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize