oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
