New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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