drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
