pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
