last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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