Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
