and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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