People in love make me want to vomit
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
