Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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